Well, the Christmas countdown has begun and naturally after Christmas comes the New Year and of course New Year's Resolutions (NYR). For 2009 I was determined to make resolutions that were realistic and something that was actually achievable. I decided I was going to learn to make interesting salads and to start sending cards to people at random times. My rationale? Salads - basically I just likes salads and I like entertaining but I really only know how to make the usual type ones. Cards - I have a few wonderful friends who are good at sending cards just to let you know they are thinking of you and it is just such a wonderful thing. Plus I know I suck at sending things out on time, but thinking-of-you cards are for any time.
How did I go? It was a big FAIL for me!!! I have not done either. The ironic thing is though is that I have actually achieved so many of the "big" goals that people often do actually set as their NYR. I have lost a size and a half clothes wise (due to stress more then anything but that is not the point). I have done so much around the house it is unbelievable and I am really getting to a point where I am happy the house could actually be classified as 'organised' (please note, not there yet but getting there). I have finished an award I have been working on for 7 years including actually going on stage (huge thing for me). Finally, thanks to this blog I have begun writing more, and I am really enjoying it and begin to write more creatively as well.
So while on the surface, my NYR are a 'not achieved', but has the year been successful? I would say yes! New things tried, goals reached. The final bonus? I really like my NYR from last year, so I think I will recycle them for 2010!!
One final thing, since my last post I posted a facebook status noting I had had dinner with my family three times in a week. Yes I did mean my parents and sisters etc, and yes I did have to explain to people I did not actually mean dinner with just my girls! Oops!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Family Ties
People are often defined by their relationships. Whether it is by themselves or by others .... whether or not it is their choice. How often do you read in the paper "mother of two" as a description of someone? Or "local grandfather"? Or words to that effect. Relationships with others are part of what makes us people.
It was my mother's birthday the other day and so we all went out for dinner. It made me think. Despite the fact I have lived out of home for more then ten years, been married twice and have three children if someone asks me who is in my family I still list my parents, all my siblings, my children and my niece and nephew. In my head "extended family" includes my in-laws and cousins and people like that and my children are too closely a part of me that I don't need a separate term to define how they belong to me.
Similarly the term "mother" I find hard to place. I have never once put "mother" or "domestic duties" as my employment. I have always been a "student" or been in paid employment as well. This is not to say that being a mother is not the hardest job there is! Please don't get me wrong .. but for me it has never been my "job". I just don't think of it the same way I do as my paid employment or the various volunteer roles I have done.
I have been asked recently but a 16 year old friend what it is like to be a mum. Do you think I could answer? Instead I stared blankly. A girl a met at uni this semester found out I had school aged daughters was genuinely excited that it meant I got to do things like make school lunches. One comment that has always stuck in my head was at a party and someone saying to me it was good I could talk about things other then my kids because so many parents couldn't (don't get me wrong ... I still talk about them a LOT). I studied the full time through my first two pregnancies and part time through my third and over the years have spent so much time justifying my decision to work or to have kids to different people depending on what they thought I should be doing with my life ... or what they thought a "good" mum should be. I've done the juggling act and made changes as our needs have changed - mine and theirs - and most definitely had my fair share of guilt about the choices I have made. My babies are the centre of my universe, but I am not ashamed that they are not my entire universe. I am a mum, but I am also a friend, a sister, a daughter, a student. I work, I go out, I make choices, I make mistakes .... and finally, in the last few weeks I think I have come to a definition of what being 'mum' is to me .... for me (and this may not be the best definition for everyone) but for me being a mother is not my career, it is not my 'label' .... I would consider it more of a lifestyle choice .... and from now on I think that is what I will tell people... if nothing else it might help them think about what their concept of a being a mother (or indeed a parent) is .... and did I mention I wouldn't have my life any other way??
Now ... I have no intention of spending all my time writing about various relationships ... but if this is about me writing about me and my life it sort of becomes relevent by default. That said I promise I will write about something more interesting next time .....
It was my mother's birthday the other day and so we all went out for dinner. It made me think. Despite the fact I have lived out of home for more then ten years, been married twice and have three children if someone asks me who is in my family I still list my parents, all my siblings, my children and my niece and nephew. In my head "extended family" includes my in-laws and cousins and people like that and my children are too closely a part of me that I don't need a separate term to define how they belong to me.
Similarly the term "mother" I find hard to place. I have never once put "mother" or "domestic duties" as my employment. I have always been a "student" or been in paid employment as well. This is not to say that being a mother is not the hardest job there is! Please don't get me wrong .. but for me it has never been my "job". I just don't think of it the same way I do as my paid employment or the various volunteer roles I have done.
I have been asked recently but a 16 year old friend what it is like to be a mum. Do you think I could answer? Instead I stared blankly. A girl a met at uni this semester found out I had school aged daughters was genuinely excited that it meant I got to do things like make school lunches. One comment that has always stuck in my head was at a party and someone saying to me it was good I could talk about things other then my kids because so many parents couldn't (don't get me wrong ... I still talk about them a LOT). I studied the full time through my first two pregnancies and part time through my third and over the years have spent so much time justifying my decision to work or to have kids to different people depending on what they thought I should be doing with my life ... or what they thought a "good" mum should be. I've done the juggling act and made changes as our needs have changed - mine and theirs - and most definitely had my fair share of guilt about the choices I have made. My babies are the centre of my universe, but I am not ashamed that they are not my entire universe. I am a mum, but I am also a friend, a sister, a daughter, a student. I work, I go out, I make choices, I make mistakes .... and finally, in the last few weeks I think I have come to a definition of what being 'mum' is to me .... for me (and this may not be the best definition for everyone) but for me being a mother is not my career, it is not my 'label' .... I would consider it more of a lifestyle choice .... and from now on I think that is what I will tell people... if nothing else it might help them think about what their concept of a being a mother (or indeed a parent) is .... and did I mention I wouldn't have my life any other way??
Now ... I have no intention of spending all my time writing about various relationships ... but if this is about me writing about me and my life it sort of becomes relevent by default. That said I promise I will write about something more interesting next time .....
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
It's All About Me
Defining yourself in a few easy words to people who may not know you is hard. Defining yourself when people do know you is perhaps even harder. Those are the people who know you and think they know how you view yourself ... and the question then is do you want to change that perception? My 'problem' with this is simply that with a blog I have realised I am writing to an unknown audience and this is one of the reasons I have procrastinated for so long about doing this. (Although in all fairness not the only reason! Mostly just procrastination for the sake of procrastination).
So why now? I have been meaning to do this for ages and decided now is the time. I went and saw the movie Julie and Julia (apologies if that is the wrong name!) and when everyone else left wanting to cook ... I left wanting to finally start a blog. Clearly I do not have a domestic side!
I am almost 30 and excited about this next milestone in my life. It seems to be a new beginning, the beginning of the next stage of my life which is full of opportunites and I am excited to see what is waiting for me around the corner. I am doing the single-parent thing for a second time and so very, very proud of my three beautiful daughters, studying a course I love, working a job I enjoy and am (mostly) at a stage of my life I am happy with.
My own little universe centres around my girls. They are the centre of it. Not my whole universe, and I am not ashamed to say that, but most definately the centre ... but my feelings on this one can wait until next time ......
So why now? I have been meaning to do this for ages and decided now is the time. I went and saw the movie Julie and Julia (apologies if that is the wrong name!) and when everyone else left wanting to cook ... I left wanting to finally start a blog. Clearly I do not have a domestic side!
I am almost 30 and excited about this next milestone in my life. It seems to be a new beginning, the beginning of the next stage of my life which is full of opportunites and I am excited to see what is waiting for me around the corner. I am doing the single-parent thing for a second time and so very, very proud of my three beautiful daughters, studying a course I love, working a job I enjoy and am (mostly) at a stage of my life I am happy with.
My own little universe centres around my girls. They are the centre of it. Not my whole universe, and I am not ashamed to say that, but most definately the centre ... but my feelings on this one can wait until next time ......
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